Alice Parkinson
by renandli
Summary: Pansy and Neville are each other's yearly dirty-little-secret but there's an even bigger secret that Neville runs in to at Hogwart's as a Professor. The usual mix of smut/story, delving in the 'next generation' group for the first time. m for language and smut just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Neville Longbottom climbed the stairs of the Three Broomsticks after Madam Rosemerta told him she was here already. The proprietor's eyes had followed the professor to the staircase with a disapproving look but they always paid full price and left a tip for the cleaning witch so Rosemerta kept her mouth closed about their trysts. They'd been meeting like this for twelve years now, but this year was different.

Neville stopped himself from knocking on the locked door. It was like a disease, these meetings. He could go months without thinking about her but on January 1st his feet brought him down from Hogwart's, along the familiar alleys until he entered the bar looking for her. Sometimes they sat downstairs talking, drinking, flirting, most years the first one to arrive got a room and left a message for the other. They knew why they met, it wasn't for drinks and flirting, it was for devastating sex to ring in the New Year and then 12 months of peace before it happened again.

But this year he had discovered a secret. A secret named Alice Parkinson, a lonely, sweet first-year Slytherin who looked nothing like her mother Pansy. Alice's open round face shone under a curtain of blunt-cut dark hair. She was all elbows and knees, garnering the nickname 'Stork' from her classmates, a nickname that Neville heard on the first day of classes just a few months ago.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The first day of school was always hectic, older students purposely sending the confused newbies in the wrong direction. Lesser forms of bullies sent books and rolls of parchment flying. True bullies hexed first years, thinking they could get away with it in the hustle and bustle of the crowds. Professors dotted the halls trying to keep the students from any serious mischief.

It was a lesser bully that targeted Alice Parkinson that September. Professor Longbottom, a long sufferer of bullies and nicknames, didn't see what Corrin Snod did exactly, more he saw the explosion of paper and book covers as Alice was surrounded by students chanting 'Stork! Stork! Stork!'

"Okay! Okay! On your way! Get to your class, if you don't have a class go find something to learn quick." Neville bust up the crowd giving Snod the evil eye and making a mental note to talk to Professor Hemmings, head of Gryffindor, about the little git. The fleeing students left a girl scrambling to gather the chaotic mess back into her rucksack. Behind the black hair, her face burned red as Neville knelt to help her while muttering, "Because first days just aren't hard enough..." Repairing the rent cover of the Charms textbook, he stuffed the book and a handful of quills in her rucksack. "Well, nothing was destroyed, small miracle. What's your first class, I'll point you the right direction, Miss..."

The girl pulled out her time-table. "First class is Transfiguration, sir. And it's Parkinson, Professor." Her voice was thick but Neville pretended not to notice as she wiped her face dry.

"Well that is convenient, Professor Drinkwater's classroom is directly on my path." It was nowhere near his path, he had been on the way to his greenhouses. But his fourth years knew not to hurt the plants, not if they didn't want a full class of mixing dragon dung manure. "She's never mad about students being late on the first day, but she may make you help her if she needs a volunteer. Come on." The hall was nearly deserted so no one saw the Professor give her his handkerchief as Alice began sobbing again at having someone being nice to her.

"I'm sorry Professor." Alice sniffled.

"Sorry for what, Miss Parkinson?" Neville slowed his pace as the girl dawdled.

"I'm just being stupid, I've been crying all morning. Mum said it might be hard, what people say, but I haven't even got to a class yet. This place is horrible." Big brown eyes flashed up at Neville, tears welling at the corners as Alice realized she had just told a Professor that Hogwart's was horrible.

There was something familiar in the Alice's big saucer-face but Neville didn't see it yet, he only stooped down to look Alice in the eye, "I know it seems horrible right now. Lots of people, new surroundings, being lost, different food from home. Everyone reacts in their own way, some people get scared, some lash out, most people go with the flow. You'll get in the stream soon enough."

"Even guppies can swim." Alice's face split open in a giant smile as she made a joke, temporarily easing the tension of being new.

Neville saw it then. The happy face of his own mother looked back at him, the only difference was a pug nose that made her distinctly a Parkinson. Trying to hide his surprise, Neville coughed out a question, "Parkinson? As in Pansy Parkinson?"

"Yes, she's my mum. I guess you've heard of her?" Alice tugged at a loose shank of hair, pushing it behind an ear that stuck out a bit too far.

"Yes, I know Pansy. We went to school together." It was the safest thing he could think to say. "Well, if you're her daughter, no doubt you'll be running the school in no time." Neville didn't elaborate, rather he stood up to usher Alice forward. "Feeling better? Yes? Let's get you to class." It was a quick walk to the Transfiguration classroom, Neville opened the door to find a large golden dragon taking up most of the room, the students flattened out along the back wall. "Found your lost volunteer, Zoe! Have a nice day, Miss Parkinson."

Neville left the girl on the threshold of the classroom, speedwalking away to points unknown. When he finally stopped, Neville found himself at the edge of the Black Lake breathing hard. In a fit of fury, Neville screamed out over the still water, "What a bitch!"

Bitch-itch-itch-itch echoed back to his ears.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Four months of watching Alice Parkinson try to find her place in the school without being able to help her had made Neville extremely angry. And yet he had no proof that Alice was his daughter other than the pull of his heart. Pansy had made it very clear that they would not be in each other's life when their meetings had started. Even so, Neville had written numberous letters, scraping all in the fireplace long before he could force himself to post any of them.

It took all the nerve he had to knock on the door to room 314.

"Come in." Pansy's shrill voice contained a playful sing-song tone as she beckoned him inside. She didn't look up from where she lay on the bed doing the crossword out of a muggle newspaper. Neville closed and locked the door, scanning her naked form, familiar after so many years but strangely alien after twelve months. She still wore a pair of black leather boots, sharp heeled and pointy-toed for fashion. Laying on her stomach, she kicked her legs occasionally bumping her boot against her bum. Flipping her long hair she spoke without looking up, "I only have a few more words, I'll be with you in a minute. There's a bottle on the table if you want something."

Alcohol would be a mistake. But he drank anyway. And again. And one more.

Pansy threw the newspaper to the side, stretching as she sat up. She was prettiest when she wore a blank expression so when she wrinkled her nose at him she looked fairly grotesque. There was something off about her features, they added up wrong, letting her beauty shine when she was cussing a person out but clouding that beauty when she smiled. When she teased Neville she looked like a wolf ripping apart a fresh carcass. "You're still dressed?" Pansy strode over to where Neville slouched in an armchair. She took his drink and slammed it back.

She didn't register the anger pouring off Neville, in her own self-centered way she would never notice something like that. Instead she curled up on his lap, pulling at the buttons of his shirt, Pansy growled, "Don't you want to play with me, Longbottom?" She licked the outside curve of his ear then she was at his mouth.

Licking the edges of lips chapped by the cold weather, she moved to devour him, shifting her body against Neville until there was nothing to do but crush her soft skin in his arms.

"That's better. Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Pansy chuckled but her words made Neville tense up.

He fumbled in his pocket and drew out his wand, aiming it at Pansy his voice shook. "Actually it is a wand and I'm not that happy to see you, Pansy."

"Okay, it was a bad joke." She unfolded herself from his lap and flounced on the bed not caring that Neville just said he wasn't happy. "Talking's never been our strong point, why don't you come join me and I'll turn that frown upside down." Pansy winked at him, her sly grin melting to a sneer when he didn't move. "What?"

"Tell me about Alice."


	2. Chapter 2

_Twelve years ago:_

Nursing a hangover from New Year's Eve when he drank too much after the confrontation with Zoe Drinkwater, Neville found himself sitting at the bar of the Three Broomsticks. His head pounding, he decided to treat the ache with a bit of hair of the dog ordering a firewhisky. He was nineteen and a veteran from the war against Voldemort, surviving against all odds to become a bonafide hero, but when he saw Zoe making out with Dennis Creevy at midnight his world collapsed.

Not that he expected Zoe to fall into his arms. They had killed the relationship three years earlier and they both knew it. Last night had only put the final nail in the coffin. He ordered another drink to drown out thoughts of what he could have done different. It wouldn't help.

The stool next to him creaked as it became occupied. A curtain of ebony hair made his fuzzy brain hope it was Zoe, come to track him down and profess her ever-loving-heart to him. So when he turned to greet her, it was a cold knife to the chest when he came eye to eye with Pansy Parkinson. Ah shit.

The bane of his existence for seven long years. Oh! And there it was that shrieking cackle that rips into your head and bashes your brain with a large cinder block. Maybe she wouldn't recognize him.

But then he wouldn't be..."Neville Longbottom! Oh my god, I saw Zoe demolish you last night! It was fucking hilarious!"

He closed his eyes and counted to ten. Even though she was a bitch he couldn't justify punching her. He was raised better. "Glad you enjoyed the show. How are you Pansy?"

"A right lot better than you, to be sure. Buy a girl a drink? We can catch up on old times!" She cackled again, flipping her hair around in a way she must have thought attractive.

Her face still defaulted to a bored sneer when she wasn't fake laughing at her own wit. The left side of her mouth rising at the corner, throughly unimpressed with the world. Her hair had grown out from the bob she had worn in school, she looked better without the severe angles around her face. Her nails and lips were shiny red, harsh.

"You're drunk all ready if you think we have things to catch up on, Pansy." But Neville wanted more whisky anyway so he signaled Rosemerta for two drinks.

Her voice was too loud as she slurred, "Well it's not like I have anything to talk about with these old geezers in here!" Her taloned hand swept out to gesture to the regulars in the bar. Witches and wizards who had ducked in to get warm and have a butterbeer, not serious drinkers like the two idiots at the bar.

"Tactful as always, Parkinson."

"Oh relax, Longbottom." Pansy swung her hair again, she must have been really tipsy because it caused her to slide off her stool.

It was more reflex than wanting to make sure she was alright that made Neville lunge over and catch her. Their faces were very close and Neville could smell the alcohol wafting off her skin, she really was drunk. For the first time Neville could remember touching Pansy Parkinson and he was surprised to find her warm and soft as he wrestled her back on to the stool. In his mind he had always imagined her to be as cold and hard as ice.

"You'll need to get your sea legs working, lady." Indeed the girl was listing dangerously on the stool. Giving up on the idea of remaining upright, Pansy slumped against his chest, her hand resting on his waist, eyes closed so that Neville feared she would fall asleep like this. He propped her up, slipping her coat off with difficulty. Underneath was the softest sweater he had ever felt, his numbed fingers began stroking the fabric. Blue, his favorite color.

An unknowing observer would probably smile at this picture of young love. They would be completely wrong, but it was a nice thought.

"Are you trying to feel me up, Longbottom? I'm practically passed out and you're groping me?" The moment ended, Neville pushed the girl upright.

He grabbed his own coat and made to leave, "It's been a slice, Parkinson. Let's make sure not do this again anytime soon." Neville got one arm through a sleeve before Pansy stopped him.

"Come on, Nevie! I'll be good. Just stay here, I don't want to drink alone." She caught his hand and pulled him close with surprising strength, "You don't have any where to go. You came here to get shit-faced and forget the dragon-girl. So why don't you sit down and drink."

Neville was of two minds returned to the bar. It was true, he had no where else to go, he was not interested in seeing his friends. Why not spend the day with an enemy. At least he wouldn't be bored.

He didn't remember what they talked about for the next hour but he did remember watching the level of booze in the bottle which Pansy ordered quickly diminish. They may not have talked at all. But she laughed, when she did it put Neville on edge, in the past that cackle preceded trouble.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when her hand flopped into his lap. The red talons gripped his thigh. Thankfully she had learned to modulate her voice so it wasn't painful when she as her lips grazed his ear to say, "Take me to the bathroom."

"What? Can't you get there yourself?" Neville didn't pick up on what she was saying.

Pansy rolled her eyes, "Merlin, you are so thick, Longbottom. I meant, 'Take me in the bathroom.' Now." She brazenly grabbed his crotch, arching an eyebrow at his surprise.

It was his turn to fall out of his chair. He was in a new bizarro world, but went along with it. Pansy led him to the ladies' room, she ducked in and found it empty so pulled Neville in to join her.

Neville was shirtless before he knew what was happening, nearly pantsless before he was able to stop Pansy's flying hands. "This is so wrong, Parkinson."

"Don't say you've never thought of this Longbottom. Stop being so good and bang the bitch that made your life hell." She pulled her sweater off, reached under her skirt to take off her panties.

The good guy inside Neville shut the hell up.

Rushing forward he pinned Pansy against the wall and they went at it like rabid weasels. Snarling, biting, scratching at each other, wrestling for dominance. Both working to get off, not caring if the other was comfortable or enjoying anything. Sex with someone you hate is very liberating.

In the middle, just after Pansy slammed Neville on the slightly damp floor, the door started to open. Whoever was outside must have heard the grunts and moans, she hesitated long enough for Neville to kick the door closed. Pansy paused to lock the door on the swearing woman.

Madam Rosemerta was their next guest, the angry barmaid pounded on the door, wanting to kick them out of her decent establishment. It took Rosemerta claiming she would blow the door off the hinges to make the couple stop what they were doing, pull themselves together and open the door.

Rosemerta looked at them with utter disdain, Neville still working on the buttons of his blue-plaid shirt. "You're adults, you should know better than to do this kind of thing in public! Grow up and get a room!"

Pansy sneered, "We did get a room, it's not like we were on the dance floor."

"Wait, can we get a room? You rent rooms." Neville pulled out a handful of coins.

The astute business woman took twice the regular rate but stopped complaining. Rosemerta went to collect their coats then led them up the back stairs, room 314.

They woke up in a broken bed. Both experiencing a 'coyote ugly' moment of wanting to chew off their own arm to get away. Instead they got dressed in silence, taking different paths along the walk of shame to get home.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Yes, I remember that first time." Neville answered Pansy's question. "And I remember the other times. What I don't remember is you mentioning that we have a kid! I could kill you Pansy, really kill you."

"We agreed to not see each other, you said it was for the best. You were RELIEVED that I didn't want anything from you beyond sex. I saw it on your face, so don't play all high and mighty with me. I've seen the uncaring bastard you can be. I fucked him." Pansy went on the offensive, her voice rising until their neighbors pounded on the wall telling them to keep it down.

"Okay, yes, I don't want people knowing that I seek you out once a year. It's embarrassing. You're a bitch and I'm an idiot since I keep this going." Neville flung his wand across the room, ripping his coat off to throw it violently along the same line. "Merlin! You make me insane."

"Like father like S-"

"Don't you dare!" Neville turned and punched the wall, even with that low blow he still wouldn't hit her. After the pain of release, Neville got in Pansy's face forcing her down on the bed. "My father was a good man and because of you, he never had the chance to meet his granddaughter. I want my mother to meet her namesake."

Frank Longbottom had succumbed to the mental and physical pain he had endured during the first war against Voldemort, dying five years ago. It had not escaped Neville that he could have introduced Alice to the old man, maybe his father could have gained some kind of comfort from meeting the girl. Neville didn't want to miss that opportunity with his mother, no fucking way.

Pansy was afraid of him for the first time in their 12 year history of rough trysts. "Neville, you're hurting me." His large hands had clamped on her wrists, squeezing tightly to keep control.

Above her, Neville shook his head, coming to his senses. He let go of her wrists, but didn't move to let Pansy up. A change in his eyes made Pansy wrap her leg over his hip, Neville lowered his mouth to hers as she pulled at his belt. The bed survived this round but the table lamp was regrettably destroyed.

Sweaty and exhausted, they lay next to each other in the dark. Neville felt blood dripping of his shoulder-blade from where Pansy scratched him.

"Alice is the best part of my life, the thing I'm most proud of, you can't take her away from me." Pansy whispered to the dark, the plea softening her voice.

"I don't want to take her away. I just want her to not think I'm creepy because I can't stop staring at her during meals. She looks so much like my mum."

"We'll figure something out."

a/n I'm stealing my own oc from another story, Zoe isn't a character that you missed while reading the books, decided to put this story in that vein of fanfic reality, and made her a professor to complicate our man Neville's life all the more. Basically i'm too lazy to come up with two new ocs for one story. It should not be necessary to read the other story to follow this one.


	3. Chapter 3

"Alice is nicer...than I thought she'd be." Still laying next to each other, Neville spoke to the dark.

The sneer was evident as she retorted, "What, because she's my daughter? Thanks, ass."

"Well, yes. I ...your daughter should be tough. You were tough. Tough as nails."

"Careful, Longbottom, that almost sounds like praise. Wouldn't want to be complimentary." Pansy shifted to her side, using her arm as a pillow since the real ones were on the floor in tatters. "Maybe I tried to raise her to be less like me." She couldn't bring herself to say, 'More like you.' but it flashed through her mind.

Neville turned toward her. Unable to see her face, he could feel her breath on his own. "Can't blame you for that, you were a nightmare." a hint of his smile made the words sting less.

Pansy laughed, "Got that right!" She snuck a bit closer, as if she needed to make sure no one overheard her. "After the war, people were really...unpleasant to me and my family and I remember one day wondering why they wasted so much energy being complete monsters toward my parents. It hit me then that I had been doing the same thing all along. So I stopped. When Alice came along, I moved away, far from my parents and old friends. I've tried to be better for her and for me. I'm a good mom, Neville. Imagine that? I've been able to raise a girl like Alice.

"She could use a bit of your backbone, I'd say. Not all ot it, but a bit. Enough to keep her head above water." Neville slipped his hand along her body, shoulder to elbow to waist until he lightly rested it on her hip. "Wait a tick. If you're so nice now, you still treat me like dirt. You would shove me in front of a car if we saw each other on the street."

"Good thing we never see each other on the street, then. But if you show up on Platform 9 3/4, I can't say I won't push you on to the tracks." She jostled his shoulder. When his hand flew off her hip from the force of the hit she sought out his hand to place it back on her hip.

"You're my indulgence from the old days, Longbottom. Like putting on your favorite pair of jeans, its familiar. I get to be rude and mean for one day, let loose from all the bindings I put on myself every morning. Maybe its chemical, you certainly unleash demons that you've stomped down since you were that little butterball in Snape's class." Pansy pushed gently on Neville's chest, rolling him on to his back. Blindly, she moved until she straddled his hips, Pansy's warmth pressing against his groin. She only had one boot left on.

Neville moaned as his body began responding to the comfortable weight above him, his fingers dug into her hips. "If I had seen this side of you back then..."

"You were unfuckable in school, for many, MANY reasons. But there were times when we fought... When you manned-up in our last year...mmmm I could have ripped your clothes off, tied you to a chair and had quite the Pansy-party." Pansy licked his sternum before focusing on his neck.

"My brain would have exploded."

The bed broke five minutes later. They didn't care.

"Chemical...definitely chemical." After, Neville wiped his body down with the torn curtains. When he flung the lace away, Pansy slumped against his chest, her hair smelled like coconut oil and sex. "You're not using a love potion on me, right Parkinson? A spell, or something?"

"As if YOU're the one who should be worried about love potions. I'm the cute one, you're the smart one." Pansy mumbled before falling asleep.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The chiming of the Hogsmeade church's bell woke them at four o'clock. Pansy unstuck her hair from Neville's chest, lit a candle and went in search of the water pitcher, stumbling in her one boot.

"I'm almost sure we were supposed to be talking about Alice. How we're going to handle the situation." Neville got out of bed, glad of the glass Pansy offered him.

Pansy gave him an appraising look. "I refuse to talk about my sweet little girl when you look like that." Usually the two were too blurry and in a hurry to notice the damage they did to each other in bed, but Neville looked like hell had trampled him with a herd of horses. "Clean up."

It was decided that they would both get dressed, less distracting to converse with clothes on. Neville shrugged into his wrinkled white button-up, tucking the tails in his gray trousers. A slate blue vest went on, it gave him an elegant appearance, more so than the sweater vests he used to favor. When he wore the vest he felt able to face any challenge, he wanted the boost to his self-esteem right now. Though the night had been (for them) amicable so far, he knew that worse could be on the horizon.

Pansy found her other boot under the bed. Her lace and silk underpinings made Neville's pulse race but they were quickly covered in a vibrant blue cashmere dress.

She held her hair out of the way so he could zip her up. Neville grimaced as the last view of the purple bra vanished, "I like your dress, blue is my favorite color." His fingers teased the soft fabric until Pansy playfully slapped him away.

"Thank you. But it's staying on." They looked at each other. Traditionally this was the time they would flee back to their own lives. They had never needed to deal with each other out of bed. "This is weird. I forget that you're a grown-up."

Neville squinted at her, "Um, thank you?"

"You look like a professor. I feel like I'm back at Hogwarts. It's spooky." Pansy shook her body, trying to shake the feeling.

With a laugh, Neville unfastened his trousers and let them drop. "You feel better now? I just really hope this doesn't reinforce the flashback." The art of physical comedy.

Pansy cackled, laughing for a full minute before pulling herself together. "I should have introduced Alice to you years ago. Pull up your pants, for Merlin's sake."

Without being prompted, Pansy began describing why she didn't let Neville know about their child. She had told her parents that the baby was from her relationship with Theodore Nott, she believed it to be true at the time. Theo had left her the week before Christmas, she had been in the Three Broomsticks that night to help forget the man when she ran in to Neville.

Although angry at Pansy for getting in to such a situation, the Parkinsons made sure that no one bothered their daughter about who the father was while they made their home ready to welcome a grandchild. When her daughter was born, one look told her she wasn't Theo's, he was thin and rabbity. Alice looked like a grape stuck on a toothpick, a giant full-moon face. She didn't want to believe it as the little nugget looked at her, but finally she admitted to herself that Neville had to be the father.

Pansy had meant to go to Hogwarts during the Christmas break, wanting to tell Neville then even if it killed her to admit the truth. She thought Christmas would be the best time, fewer people in the castle to see her, fewer people as witnesses when Longbottom erupted at her for her stupidity. It took until January first for her to get the courage to see him. Leaving Alice with her parents, Pansy apparated to Hogsmeade and ran smack into Neville.

"You were s-s-s-so angry that day. Afterward." Her voice wobbled as she looked away from him.

Neville couldn't believe it, but Pansy looked near tears. He had been a complete bastard the second time they hooked up, can't even blame the firewhiskey, because he had been stone-cold sober. He had decided to take control of their 'relationship' and lay out ground rules. It was the night Neville told her to never speak to him in public, not to contact him, it was a hook-up and nothing else. And he had not been nice about it, using words that made him blush just to think about. He had said she was embarrassing.

He had been a giant cocknostril when Pansy had been ready to tell him he had a daughter.

Pansy continued, explaining that how he treated her had made it easy not to say anything about Alice from spite. As the years passed, Neville's anger slipped away, the meetings became more cordial but by then Pansy was happy to keep her secret, telling herself it was for Alice's own good. That it would be confusing for the girl to bring this man around, introduce him as her father. She told herself that Alice could easily blend among the hundreds of other students that went to Hogwarts the proud day that her magic manifested.

She told herself lies. Really, she wanted Alice just for herself.

Pansy didn't want to share the best part of her life. Not with anyone. She had moved to Cornwall, where she knew no one. To a muggle town, got a muggle job, made muggle friends, took Alice to the neighborhood park and explained that they never used magic at home. Ever.

There had been slip-ups. But nothing tragic.

Alice had touched an acorn on her eighth birthday, by the end of the party Pansy had an oak tree in her yard. Alice's lunch would dance around the table to amuse the girl before she ate it. But most young witches and wizards figured out that trick without any training.

Neville smiled, imagining the dancing food. "I did that a few times, my gran was beside herself." He stopped talking, surprised as tears welled up in his eyes. He had missed so much because he was an idiot. "At school...I was wondering why she seemed behind everyone else, academically. Two pure-blood parents" Neville winced from her sharp look at him, "You did well in classes, smart."

Pansy let the compliment fall off her, "I don't think she trusts herself with magic. Alice is careful. Very kind, but super careful." Wistfully, she admitted, "I miss having her around at home. I see her friends in the park and they're always asking how she's getting on at boarding school. She won't be able to tell them anything when she gets back for summer, she's been busy during this break but already she's had to outright lie to her friends." Pansy frowned, she didn't like calling her daughter a liar.

Neville swallowed the instinct to pat Pansy's hand, in any other circumstance it would be an acceptable show of empathy. But this was Pansy. He offered a solution instead, "Dean Thomas just substituted football for quidditch, Chemistry for Potions stuff like that, he had his own code. Always took a week to change back after summer break."

"That's creative. It would be less lying and more descriptive of Hogwarts life. She's been very stressed over it, that could be a good compromise. She almost broke down and told Louisa, her best friend, everything. It would have been a disaster."

"You just need to make sure she knows how important it is to keep Hogwarts and her abilities a secret." That was the wrong thing to say, Neville wanted to eat the words. The right thing to say was nothing. Or maybe a non-committal grunt. He hadn't meant to criticize her parenting skills, but it was what she heard.

The temperature dropped 50 degrees, they could have just apparated outside and not been any colder.

"I HAVE."

Pansy gave Neville a hard stare. He glanced around just to make sure that she wasn't going to bonk him on the head by levitation. Neville felt itchy but chalked that up to needing a shower. Then the tirade began. He almost wished Pansy was a jinx-er rather than a talker as the years of loneliness, stress,  
uncertainty, anger, annoyance, joy and triumph of being a single mom poured out of her.

And he sat there and took it. Neville let her vent because as a person, as a man, you sometimes had to take your medicine without flinching.

She petered out as the church bell struck seven.

"Rebuttal?" Pansy was giving him his chance. Expecting him to pitch a fit about the simple truth that she had not reached out to him as she had all these problems and experiences. Expected him to say he would have helped her through them.

"None." Neville was defeated. Other than a deeply rooted desire to have gone through all the grunt work of raising a child, he couldn't fault Pansy for not wanting him around. "You've done an excellent job, Pansy. Alice is wonderful."

"Then what do we do?" She fretted the hem of her dress, not sure what to do with herself now that she had shared so much, too much, with Neville.

Pansy watched as Neville's large hands came to rest atop hers, stopping their nervous motion. He followed his hands, kneeling down in front of her as he clasped her hands between his. A fleeting thought ran through her head, 'If he proposes to me, I'm going to kick him in the nuts. Hard.'

Neville knelt there, earnest and breathless for a moment. "Pansy? Will you please let Alice know I'm her father? I can't work at Hogwarts if she doesn't know, not for six more years. I'll slip up because I know and that will crush her. That is the last thing I want to do. I'll resign at the end of term if you say no."

"It won't be 'embarrassing' for you?" She used her trigger word, the one that really stung all those years ago.

His warm chocolate eyes softened, "I should never have said that to you. No one deserves to hear that. It wasn't true then and I know it's not true now. Please forgive that weak idiot who lashed out at you." The heat from his hands radiated up her arms, seemed to fill Pansy from within as he apologized.

"Can you hold out until summer break? I don't want to interrupt her school year." Pansy gave in.

It killed Neville to agree but they would wait until the end of term. Alice would have three months to get used to the idea of having a father, who was also her professor, and a near stranger before returning to school.

Pansy and Neville had five months to figure out how to tell her.


	4. Chapter 4

If anything, it was worse when classes started up again. Now Neville knew that Alice was his daughter rather than just feeling it in his gut. The whole situation made him twitchy.

The first big problem was the insomnia. The days were better but at night, alone, it was awful. He fell into the trap of fantasizing about the day Pansy and he finally told Alice. How she would run into his open arms for a hug and call him 'dad' right off the bat. In the fantasies it was always a bright summer day, they'd be outside at the park that Alice liked. The girl was suspicious, wondering why her professor had come to visit, but polite as she showed him the place where she played when not at Hogwart's. The day would be idyllic. He would have his little girl and Alice would have her dad.

And there lies the problem.

Logical, thinking Neville knew that the whole thing was bound to be messy.

A pre-teen finding out that her professor is her dad is a situation ripe for drama and trauma. Then her mother, the only adult and constant in Alice's life, lied about the fact before sending the Alice to the very school her dad taught at would add needed gasoline to the bonfire of rage sure to sprout up. Neville fantasized about this outcome too, hence the no sleeping.

After a month of dreams that even Professor Trelawny could interpret, Neville became essentially a zombie. He was alive, could walk from place to place, sometimes lecture but that was about it.

His body rebelled against his brain as that stupid organ kept replaying the possible scenarios over and over, shutting down all higher functions until Neville grunted rather than talked. Showers, blessedly, stayed a daily activity but all other grooming flew out the window until he had a lovely bushy beard and a cyclone hairdo. Most of the Professors simply assumed that Neville had turned the corner and was looking for tenure at the school, that he was embracing the weirdness of Hogwart's teaching.

The lack of sleep lent a brilliant gleam to his eyes as they shifted every which way before focusing in on a misbehaving student, most students automatically stopped their nonsense when the gaze fell on them. But the ones who didn't wished they had a howler instead.

The well-behaved students didn't mind the new hippy-fied version of Professor Longbottom. Actually there was a tidy sum to be made by wagering as to when he would go full hermit, take over the Dark Forrest and become the central character of his own series of scary legends to tell first-years.

Other than that, the Hogwart's students were very excited that the grading of Herbology papers had become quite lax, everyone got an 'E' as long as the paper was legible and uncrumpled. No one was going to question that grading policy, even Hestia Hendertwig (the school's new Hermione) was convinced not to bring the unfair grading to the Headmaster's attention. She said that no one wanted Professor Longbottom to get in trouble and, truthfully, Hestia liked his beard, she thought it made him sexy.

Neville was stumbling around the halls in this disheveled manner, doing his time on regular trouble patrol, when a chanting chorus cut through the dream fog.

Like a bloodhound on a scent, Neville swiveled in a circle trying to find the source of "Stork! Stork! Stork!" Zeroing in, he ran up the nearest flight of stairs, zipping down the next hall, through two doors and down one staircase to find Corrin Snod and his gang taunting Alice outside the Gryffindor Common Room, a crowd was forming.

Perhaps louder and meaner than necessary, Neville shouted, "Snod! What exactly are you doing?"

Students on the outer edges of the crowd judiciously sidled away, fleeing before they caught the professor's wrath. Snod and his gang looked pale but stood their ground as Neville swooped toward them. Alice turned beet red, upset that she needed saving again. She also didn't see how being saved by the weirdie teacher was going to help her reputation around the school.

Neville used his full height to loom above the third-year tormentors, "You know, when I was in Gryffindor, the house stood for loyalty and bravery. Headmistress McGonagall will be disappointed to find the house standards falling so low as to produce bullies and people that tolerate bullying." Neville included the crowd in his lecture as he told them that watching as someone is picked on is nearly as bad as being the bully. He didn't tell the story, but Neville remembered standing up to Harry Potter and his friends in the first year of school, he had spent the night in a full-body-bind but he had done it and gotten those last few points to win the House Cup. With that in mind he eyeballed Snod's gang and told each of them off as well.

When Neville ran out of ideas he turned back to Snod. The cheeky bugger smirked up at him and said, "It's not so much that I want to bully Alice Parkinson, sir. It's more that she's a snakey Slytherin and shouldn't exist in the first place." There was a quick snicker that went through the crowd followed by gasps as Neville whipped out his wand and smacked Snod in the forehead.

The boy reeled back, shrinking smaller and smaller until he disappeared into a pile of his own clothes.

"Professor Longbottom? Holding class in the hallways now?" Professor Drinkwater waddled down the stairs, Zoe was very pregnant and lately prone to mood swings. On top of which she was a natural Animagus, meaning that she could turn into a dragon at a moments notice. The students were rightfully scared of the woman.

Neville pawed through the pile of clothes on the floor until he found the writhing animal that used to be Corrin Snod. "Actually, I'm taking a page from your chosen field, Professor Drinkwater." He held up the scratching beastie for Zoe to see. "_Mustela putorius furo_, I believe."

Zoe squinted at the animal, "That's a weasel, not a ferret. Close though." She clapped Neville on the shoulder and was about to go on her way when she saw Snod's gang without their leader. "Gubler!" Zoe barked at the smallest member of the gang, he was shaking as he made eye contact with the professor. What she saw there, shocked and amazed her, "Really, Neville?" she gave her coworker a look of disappointment. Shaking her head,  
she reached out to take Snod away from him.

Forcing himself to talk, Gubler asked, "What are you going to do to him, missus?"

"Do to him? I'm going to eat him, Mr Gubler." Zoe held the weasel up so it could see her and she snapped her teeth together.

Gubler swallowed hard and looked ready to bolt.

Alice let out a small shriek, "Please, Professor Drinkwater. Corrin was being rude and mean but that doesn't call for eating him." There was a chorus of agreement with Alice's words. The little Slytherin rose in the esteem of the other students for speaking up.

Zoe winked at Neville and said with a fake grimace. "I guess I can find another snack." She held the panicking weasel up again and said to it, "I'm going to wrap you in your robe, don't go running off or you'll be naked when I change you back."

Zoe wrapped the weasel in his school robes, shoved the rest of Corrin's clothes into Gubler's arms and with a swish-and-flick of her wand brought Snod back to the land of boyhood. Smiles went around the crowd but no one was quite brazen enough to laugh out right as Snod struggled to keep the shred of dignity he had left.

"Two weeks detention, Mr Snod, to be served with me." Professor Drinkwater turned to leave.

"What!?" Corrin screamed, "Longbottom turns me into a weasel and I still get detention! All because some bitch's daughter-"

Zoe rightfully set herself between Neville and Snod as the man made to lunge at the boy, but everyone was surprised when Alice's tiny voice broke over the scuffle.

"Hey, don't you say anything more about my mom!" Alice got right in the face of the seething boy, "Stop calling my mom names! You don't know her, if I hear you say one more thing about her or me I'll, I'll bop you in the nose!" She looked about ready to make good on that promise as she brought two curled fists up in front of her.

This act of defiance sent Corrin stumbling back, he had been picking on Alice since the start of term and she had never said so much as a word in her own defense. Alice saw that she had won a small victory, as the euphoria flooded her small body she wanted to end the battle right then and there. Pulling back a fist, she made ready to punch Corrin Snod.

Thankfully, because Alice would have been expelled otherwise, Neville grabbed her around the waist, swinging her away from Corrin. Loosing her target, Alice yelled, "Don't ever say my name again, Borin' Snot! Don't say my mom's name or I'm gonna get you!"

Professor Drinkwater clapped her hands together with a sharp crack. "Let's cut our losses. Everyone go home! I want this area clear in fifteen seconds. And yes, Snod, you still have detention." The crowd ran for it, most going directly into the Gryffindor Common Room but a couple Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had to take the stairs. Most of Corrin's shouts were drowned out by the ruckus of children moving to obey but Zoe stood there with a smile plastered on her face, muttering responses, "Yes, your parents are going to hear about this. Yes, yes, you'll get me sacked, I hear you. I should have let you be starkers when I changed you back, you little git."

Neville stooped down next to a hard-breathing Alice. He wanted to hug her, she had been so brave but had to console himself with a hand on her shoulder.

Zoe came up to the duo, she pulled a comb out of her robes and set to fixing Alice's hair as the two studied each other.

"Pansy's daughter, eh? Yeah, I can see it." The two smiled as Neville watched. Zoe stowed the comb away and let a frown replace her smile, "I'll need to see you for detentions of your own, Alice. We can't have you trying to punch people, even if they have gotten on your last nerve. You especially can't announce it when there are so many witnesses around."

Alice wasn't sure, but she thought that Professor Drinkwater winked at her, but she played along, "I understand, Professor Drinkwater. How many detentions will it be?"

"Oh, two weeks, same as Mr Snod. I'll see you for an hour before breakfast, 6:30 am on Monday." Without looking around, Zoe called out, "Weasley!"

Neville and Alice were quite confused until they spotted a ginger-haired boy coming up the stairs behind Zoe.

Completely taking by surprise, the boy jumped, spilling his books and papers down the stairwell. His body was so freckly, it was hard to discern the individual dots, he had glasses and an unfortunate head-shape that called to mind a carrot even before you factored in the red hair. "Yes, Professor Drinkwater." He sighed as he bent down to collect his things, it was a sigh that meant he did this action many times a day.

"You're Percy Weasley's boy, correct? Meaning you have designs to become a prefect, yes? And then Head Boy?" Zoe flicked her wand, collecting a stack of the boy's papers.

Percy didn't know where this was all heading. The entire situation was weird, what was a Slytherin doing with two professors outside of Gryffindor Tower, Percy Jr had no idea. He went with a noncommittal, "Maybe. Professor."

"Hmm. I will give you five additional points for the watch-into-a-raven transfiguration if you safely walk Miss Parkinson back down to the Slytherin Common Room. Your raven was still ticking when you returned her to my desk."

Percy glanced at Alice, wondering what kind of trouble he was about to get himself into, but he also wanted the points. "Five house points for Gryffindor, as well, if you please." He wanted to make sure this venture was worth the lost revision time.

"Five points to Gryffindor..." Zoe grudgingly announced, knowing that the rubies would be falling down in the Entrance Hall.

"Brilliant, Miss Parkinson, if you'll come with me?" Alice went with the boy who quickly started making polite small talk, even inviting her to join the Charms Club.

Finally alone, Zoe and Neville stood shoulder to shoulder as the students' voices faded. As soon as they were safe from small ears, Zoe slapped Neville in the stomach. "What the hell is wrong with you? McGonagall will have your head! Using transfiguration as a punishment, you know better than that. You've been so weird lately, even for you."

Groaning from the hit, which was entirely too vicious for the occasion, Neville sized up his coworker, sometimes friend and one time love. "If I had something important going on in my life, could I trust you 100% to keep your mouth shut?"


End file.
